I attended a wonderful networking event last night hosted by Reid and Riege law firm. R&R partner, Carol Felicetta is the chair of the firm’s Women’s Alliance program, a fantastic marketing initiative to forge stronger relationships with women clients, referral partners and prospects. I applaud their marketing leadership!

In the past, R&R Women’s Alliance has brought in motivational speakers and  hosted golf-for-non-golfer events. This time the event was organized around a Speed Networking exercise. Each guest was given a card identifying four tables that they would visit. Each table had 8 women sitting around it and each woman had 2 minutes to introduce herself to the others. The bell would ring when your 2 minutes was up and the next woman would give her introduction. After all 8 women had made their introductions, the group would split up and rotate to a new assigned table.

The purpose of the speed networking exercise is to make multiple new connections in a short amount of time and to practice and get more comfortable giving your elevator pitch. If you haven’t experience speed networking yet, look for opportunities to do so.

In addition to meeting new motivated women business leaders, I learned a valuable lesson. Be careful not to use too many “I message” when you introduce yourself. You might even count how many times you use it in a 2-minute introduction. For example, how many times do you find yourself starting a sentence with…

• I am…
• I do….
• I choose to only work with…
• I am married to …
• I am certified….
• I am expert in…
• I drive…
• I work for…
• I..
• I…

Too much I!

Now the I-message is a powerful interpersonal communication tool. It allows you to take ownership of your feelings and experience and to express yourself without casting blaming or triggering other people. But when you use too much I-messaging in the context of networking, you project the image of being too self-absorbed and too focused on self. You lose out on the opportunity to recreate relevance and relateability with the people that you are networking with.

I drove home from the event reminding myself to keep my EYES on the road, and to keep my own I-messages in check. After all, the purpose of networking is relationship building, not the glorification of I.

photo credit: Leo Reynolds as featured on www.flickr.com